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thefroggTitle: To Cross the Divide (1/3?)
Author: Frogg
Beta: None
Pairing: Sam/Bumblebee, Sam/Mykaela, Sam/Mykaela/Bumblebee
Rating: FRAO, masturbation (this chapter)
Disclaimer: I don't own them. Damnit.
Warnings: Uh. borderline crack!fic? Spoilers for Transformers (2007)
Author's Note: Sorry this is late (and still being written). My muse decided it wasn't going to cooperate with the PWP bunny and smacked me with some plot and character development instead. Also, this is set about six months post-movie, and early in the next school year.
"What do you mean, Autobots don't have sex?!" Sam felt his ears burn.
"We don't need to." Bumblebee looked down at him in confusion, face shadowed in the setting sun. "There's no point."
"No point?"
"We are built as full adults, not born like humans. There is no need for-"
"Sex isn't just for having babies!" Sam blurted, then tried to calm himself. "It's fun, it's about showing someone special you love and trust and care about them, about sharing one of the greatest pleasures possible. It's, it's…" Frustrated, Sam swallowed, willing Bumblebee to understand something he had no hope of.
"Sam," Bumblebee said gently, "I'm a soldier. The war started long before I was built, and it is all I know."
"So, what, you're just going to wait here and watch time go by? You don't even bother trying to have a family?" Bleak sadness washed over Sam.
"Maybe someday others of my kind will find there way here. Your government has been generous in providing a safe haven. But the only family I know is the rest of my team." Bumblebee paused. "And now I have you and Mykaela, and Captain Lennox."
"I, I." Sam swallowed. "Thank you, but…"
"Sam."
Sam knew that tone of voice, and bowed his head in defeat. Romantic love, sex, and all the trappings that went along with them were something that Bumblebee could not understand; the cultural divide was too great.
~~~
Light from the moon and the streetlights both streamed through the open window, painting the room with a faint, silvery blue glow. A cricket chirped; a dog barked somewhere off in the distance, probably the collie-shepherd mix two streets over.
Sam sighed, rolling over onto his side and staring at the wall. His stomach churned, something like pain and rejection and disappointment knotted there, leaving him unsettled.
A quick peek over the windowsill told him what he already knew; Bumblebee was parked in the driveway, as usual. This time, though, his silent, protective presence was as disturbing as it was comforting.
He's a robot, Sam told himself. He doesn't need to-- He stopped, knowing it was futile even to try to convince himself that Bumblebee's answers were the truth. Bumblebee was a sentient being, and felt as deeply as any human Sam had ever known. More than most, he added.
But why does it bother me this much? It's not like it bothers him-- Sam stilled, breath frozen in his chest.
It bothers me. But...but I have Mykaela, he protested, trying to defend himself from realization.
Sam knew he'd fallen in lust with Mykaela long before he'd known her as a person. He'd fallen in love with her...at the same time as he'd discovered Bumblebee.
As an experiment, Sam shut his eyes and rolled to his back, resting one hand on his collarbone. Just once, and you can forget you ever tried, okay? he promised himself, knowing full well it was a lie. Taking a deep breath, he centered himself, holding it for a long moment before letting it go and turning his hand over.
Slick nails skimmed down his chest, one blunt edge catching on the rough nub of a nipple. Sam pictured Bumblebee in his mind, one finger ghosting over him, smooth metal warm from the sun on his skin.
Desire knifed through him, hot and sharp. He reached blindly under the pillow for lube, spilling it over his hand and making a mess of the sheet. Gasping in pleasure, he sent up a wordless thanks for it a moment later as he clutched his dick, the excess making it so much easier to pretend.
Tears soaked the pillow later, after he'd spilled thick and salty in his hand; he let them fall unopposed. The night was enough to hide his shame.
He was in love with the most beautiful girl in the world.
He was also in love with someone he couldn't touch, who couldn't touch him.
Because Bumblebee had no reason to want to.
~~~
Neither the puffiness around Sam's eyes nor the deep circles beneath them could be hidden the next morning. He only hoped Bumblebee would accept his silence and not make him talk about it.
For his part, Bumblebee seemed to hesitate as Sam slammed the front door, pulling his backpack higher on his shoulder. Then the radio spun through a thousand songs, landing on what could only be an apology.
Sometimes I don't know just what I'm doing
But I can see exactly what I've done
I have made my peace with my reflection
Nothing you could do, nothing you could say would make me run
They tell you take it like a man
Pain will make you stronger
But this is not the path I planned
The road keeps getting longer
Sam choked up as he approached the passenger side, reaching out with shaking hands to touch the side-view mirror. "Yeah. I know." He swallowed hard and swiped angrily at his eyes, sliding into the offered passenger seat. "Myk's please?"
The engine revved, then quieted to a soft purr and pulled into the street.
Fifteen minutes later, he knocked on the door, then let himself into Mykaela's apartment, following her "Morning, Sam!" to the kitchen.
A spoon clattered to the table as Mykaela got a good look at him. "My god, what happened? Is something wrong with Bumblebee?" Not waiting for an answer, she shoved her chair back from the table and rose.
I'm in love with him and he doesn't know what romantic love is,'was all Sam could think, and he clenched his teeth to keep from blurting it out.
"Sam, what happened? What's wrong with Bumblebee?" She came closer, ignoring the bowl of Cheerios now growing soggy, and reached out.
Sam had to fight the urge to flinch and pull away as she touched his face, brushing away tears. "I need to talk to Ratchet." The statement came out of nowhere, but Sam knew it to be truth.
Mykaela froze, her eyes growing impossibly wide.
"No, no, I mean, he's not hurt, Bumblebee's fine. I just…there are things I need to talk to Ratchet about Bumblebee."
"Tell me."
"I can't. I'm already…We're back to song-and-silence again."
Mykaela blinked in shock. Sam and Bumblebee weren't talking to each other? "I'm not going to be mad, I promise. No, wait. Can I just make a wild guess here?" She continued before Sam could answer. "You're in love with him. Sam, wait!" She caught him by the arm as he tried to bolt.
"I, but, I-" Sam tried to force some semblance of coherency and failed.
"Bumblebee saved our lives. You saved my future, and his sanity. I already knew you love him, because I love him too. I can't separate you, you're too bound up in each other, in here," and she pressed one hand to her chest. "If I didn't feel that way, do you really think I'd make love to you in his back seat? On his hood?"
The words were slow to sink in, the tremors just as slow to fade. "You-you're not…" Sam shook his head. "That's not…the whole problem."
"Okay…?"
"I'm in love with Bumblebee. And he doesn't know what romantic love is," he said, misery settling over him like a cloak, hunching his shoulders.
Mykaela was silent for a long moment before she could answer. "You need to talk to Ratchet."
~~~to be continued~~~
Author: Frogg
Beta: None
Pairing: Sam/Bumblebee, Sam/Mykaela, Sam/Mykaela/Bumblebee
Rating: FRAO, masturbation (this chapter)
Disclaimer: I don't own them. Damnit.
Warnings: Uh. borderline crack!fic? Spoilers for Transformers (2007)
Author's Note: Sorry this is late (and still being written). My muse decided it wasn't going to cooperate with the PWP bunny and smacked me with some plot and character development instead. Also, this is set about six months post-movie, and early in the next school year.
"What do you mean, Autobots don't have sex?!" Sam felt his ears burn.
"We don't need to." Bumblebee looked down at him in confusion, face shadowed in the setting sun. "There's no point."
"No point?"
"We are built as full adults, not born like humans. There is no need for-"
"Sex isn't just for having babies!" Sam blurted, then tried to calm himself. "It's fun, it's about showing someone special you love and trust and care about them, about sharing one of the greatest pleasures possible. It's, it's…" Frustrated, Sam swallowed, willing Bumblebee to understand something he had no hope of.
"Sam," Bumblebee said gently, "I'm a soldier. The war started long before I was built, and it is all I know."
"So, what, you're just going to wait here and watch time go by? You don't even bother trying to have a family?" Bleak sadness washed over Sam.
"Maybe someday others of my kind will find there way here. Your government has been generous in providing a safe haven. But the only family I know is the rest of my team." Bumblebee paused. "And now I have you and Mykaela, and Captain Lennox."
"I, I." Sam swallowed. "Thank you, but…"
"Sam."
Sam knew that tone of voice, and bowed his head in defeat. Romantic love, sex, and all the trappings that went along with them were something that Bumblebee could not understand; the cultural divide was too great.
~~~
Light from the moon and the streetlights both streamed through the open window, painting the room with a faint, silvery blue glow. A cricket chirped; a dog barked somewhere off in the distance, probably the collie-shepherd mix two streets over.
Sam sighed, rolling over onto his side and staring at the wall. His stomach churned, something like pain and rejection and disappointment knotted there, leaving him unsettled.
A quick peek over the windowsill told him what he already knew; Bumblebee was parked in the driveway, as usual. This time, though, his silent, protective presence was as disturbing as it was comforting.
He's a robot, Sam told himself. He doesn't need to-- He stopped, knowing it was futile even to try to convince himself that Bumblebee's answers were the truth. Bumblebee was a sentient being, and felt as deeply as any human Sam had ever known. More than most, he added.
But why does it bother me this much? It's not like it bothers him-- Sam stilled, breath frozen in his chest.
It bothers me. But...but I have Mykaela, he protested, trying to defend himself from realization.
Sam knew he'd fallen in lust with Mykaela long before he'd known her as a person. He'd fallen in love with her...at the same time as he'd discovered Bumblebee.
As an experiment, Sam shut his eyes and rolled to his back, resting one hand on his collarbone. Just once, and you can forget you ever tried, okay? he promised himself, knowing full well it was a lie. Taking a deep breath, he centered himself, holding it for a long moment before letting it go and turning his hand over.
Slick nails skimmed down his chest, one blunt edge catching on the rough nub of a nipple. Sam pictured Bumblebee in his mind, one finger ghosting over him, smooth metal warm from the sun on his skin.
Desire knifed through him, hot and sharp. He reached blindly under the pillow for lube, spilling it over his hand and making a mess of the sheet. Gasping in pleasure, he sent up a wordless thanks for it a moment later as he clutched his dick, the excess making it so much easier to pretend.
Tears soaked the pillow later, after he'd spilled thick and salty in his hand; he let them fall unopposed. The night was enough to hide his shame.
He was in love with the most beautiful girl in the world.
He was also in love with someone he couldn't touch, who couldn't touch him.
Because Bumblebee had no reason to want to.
~~~
Neither the puffiness around Sam's eyes nor the deep circles beneath them could be hidden the next morning. He only hoped Bumblebee would accept his silence and not make him talk about it.
For his part, Bumblebee seemed to hesitate as Sam slammed the front door, pulling his backpack higher on his shoulder. Then the radio spun through a thousand songs, landing on what could only be an apology.
Sometimes I don't know just what I'm doing
But I can see exactly what I've done
I have made my peace with my reflection
Nothing you could do, nothing you could say would make me run
They tell you take it like a man
Pain will make you stronger
But this is not the path I planned
The road keeps getting longer
Sam choked up as he approached the passenger side, reaching out with shaking hands to touch the side-view mirror. "Yeah. I know." He swallowed hard and swiped angrily at his eyes, sliding into the offered passenger seat. "Myk's please?"
The engine revved, then quieted to a soft purr and pulled into the street.
Fifteen minutes later, he knocked on the door, then let himself into Mykaela's apartment, following her "Morning, Sam!" to the kitchen.
A spoon clattered to the table as Mykaela got a good look at him. "My god, what happened? Is something wrong with Bumblebee?" Not waiting for an answer, she shoved her chair back from the table and rose.
I'm in love with him and he doesn't know what romantic love is,'was all Sam could think, and he clenched his teeth to keep from blurting it out.
"Sam, what happened? What's wrong with Bumblebee?" She came closer, ignoring the bowl of Cheerios now growing soggy, and reached out.
Sam had to fight the urge to flinch and pull away as she touched his face, brushing away tears. "I need to talk to Ratchet." The statement came out of nowhere, but Sam knew it to be truth.
Mykaela froze, her eyes growing impossibly wide.
"No, no, I mean, he's not hurt, Bumblebee's fine. I just…there are things I need to talk to Ratchet about Bumblebee."
"Tell me."
"I can't. I'm already…We're back to song-and-silence again."
Mykaela blinked in shock. Sam and Bumblebee weren't talking to each other? "I'm not going to be mad, I promise. No, wait. Can I just make a wild guess here?" She continued before Sam could answer. "You're in love with him. Sam, wait!" She caught him by the arm as he tried to bolt.
"I, but, I-" Sam tried to force some semblance of coherency and failed.
"Bumblebee saved our lives. You saved my future, and his sanity. I already knew you love him, because I love him too. I can't separate you, you're too bound up in each other, in here," and she pressed one hand to her chest. "If I didn't feel that way, do you really think I'd make love to you in his back seat? On his hood?"
The words were slow to sink in, the tremors just as slow to fade. "You-you're not…" Sam shook his head. "That's not…the whole problem."
"Okay…?"
"I'm in love with Bumblebee. And he doesn't know what romantic love is," he said, misery settling over him like a cloak, hunching his shoulders.
Mykaela was silent for a long moment before she could answer. "You need to talk to Ratchet."
~~~to be continued~~~
