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thefroggLe sigh.
Before I get into the nitty-gritty, let me point out that I'm going to be using Fandom, capitalized, to denote the entirety of all fandoms (By your powers combined...), while fandom(s), not capitalized, denotes universe-specific corners of Fandom (i.e. HP, Star Wars, etc.).
Okay, fine. I've been reading a lot of back metafandom posts. A LOT.
I mean, right now, I'm working my way through the links from October 28, 2005. Yes, 2005. THAT 2005. Yes, that means I've read every post that's looked A) interesting, B) pertinent to any of my corners of Fandom, C) humorous, and/or D) remains available (since several meta-heavy LJs have been deleted, and even more have been flocked).
I have three folders full of meta posts to organize in a links list for myself on my LJ, just so I don't have to go looking for them again. (The essay on why SGA ate Fandom was a bitch to find again, it really was. And the graph isn't there anymore.::sniff::)
My current final frontier SGA rarepairing fic is due to this back-post trawling. (There are a few of you who know what it is, and who's in it, etc. Please don't spoil!)
And yes, even though I'm rather new to the whole metafandom schtick, the cyclicality of topics has been hammered home over. and over. and over. again. Canon vs. Fanon. Warnings. Concrit. Beta reading. Half a dozen how-to guides on the same punctuation/grammar issues. Wank. DIY fandom happy places. Plagiarism. Feminism. Male privilege. MPreg. Genderfuckedness. Fandom-specific terminology, both on the fandom level and the Fandom. Portrayal of disabilities. Race and racism. How to write sex scenes. Ficing fic. Credit vs. permission. Mary Sues. Characterization. Rape/non-con/dub-con/consent/whatever. Etc. Ad nauseam.
So now I have all this...stuff...floating around in my head. About Fandom, and fandoms. And I'm thinking about this, and yet another cyclical topic - Why I slash/am in fandom/write/whatever - and I realize...
I seem to be on the fringes of Fandom.
Whatever fandom I happen to play in, I'm...not mainstream.
That's...odd. Since Fandom by definition isn't mainstream, despite its creeping into it on occasion. But that's another topic. (And one that should be in that huge list up there.)
But it's true. I'm not a mainstream member of this wild and crazy place we collectively call Fandom. (Which is another thing that comes up - just what/where/how/why is Fandom Fandom?)
Whatever issue gets presented...and I realize that someone's going to call me out for saying this because I just wrote a huge essay on one not two weeks ago...I'm...not really on either side. I see both sides, and any answer I can give becomes an 'it depends'. It depends on the situation, the fandom, and the characters. It depends on the person asking. It depends on what time I got to bed last night. It depends on whether the cat next door spent two minutes screaming to be let in, or fifteen. It just depends.
So, yeah, I read all these rants on various topics to which I can say, "Yeah, I see your point." But I can't really agree with them unconditionally, and I'm left to wonder "Is there a third option?"
This is my third option, on what I've read. Mind you, I don't really have a coherent opinion on a lot of this stuff, this is just what's occurred to me while plowing through the fiftieth post on the topic of...oh, July 8th, 2007, date chosen at random.
I'm here in Fandom for a lot of reasons. And before someone starts saying "But I don't--", please let me point out that this is all an 'in general'. Some people, not everyone.
To hijack one of the points above, Fandom is an intensely creative and nurturing space.
Fandom has fanfic writers, meta writers, poets, vidders, bloggers, artists of many different media, community mods, fic/art/whatever festival mods, con organizers, etc. We self-teach. We teach others. We help out when help is asked for. Whether that's a new writer finding for a beta reader, or a writer's/author's/actor's family member being ill and having someone organize a fundraiser (or three), we are generous with our time, our energy, and our talent. Fandom gives back - collectively. Not saying there aren't leeches, but I've found they're few and far between. And they tend to lurk.
Which brings me to my personal contributions, I guess. And the reasons I make them. (And in large part, why I'm on the fringes and not in 'mainstream' Fandom.)
It shouldn't be a shock for me to say "I'm a fanfic author." That's really what this LJ is for: a place to post my stories, occasional random nattering, writing updates, and things that concern me (like the meta essay on dub-con tropes). Likewise, my little corners of fandom are going to be pretty obvious just by looking at what fandoms I write for.
But why I write? It seems the vast majority of posts, rants, polls, etc. I've read on the subject come down to something that more or less boils Fandom down to a pseudo-writer's workshop of some kind (I want to be a better writer, or go pro, or something), or some kind of compulsive activity (I write because I have to).
A lot of this comes down to concrit, what it means, whether or not it's solicited, whether concrit after posting a story is useful/meaningful/whatever, WIPs being posted while still being written, and/or the use of betas.
Does it really have to be about "teach me" vs. "I can't stop..."?
Granted, one of the big reasons I'm here writing fanfic is because I do want to improve. I do want people to tell me they think I got something wrong in my characterization of X, or from the angle depicted in Episode Y, Event Z couldn't have happened, or that I forgot a comma. I'm very open to it, and I think the comment threads on some of my posted stories reflect that. Or at least I hope so.
Unfortunately, I think part of the reason I'm so open to concrit, unsolicited or otherwise, is because of the corners of fandom I play in. If I were in 'mainstream' Fandom, my experience with it would probably be very different. I may well be going "I don't want concrit for any reason, thanks, have a nice day" stage by now.
A lot of the fandoms I've only read fic in, and not actively participated (writing, posting, commenting, etc.) in? Are huge. Star Wars (TPM, mostly). Star Trek (the odd ep). HP (dropped after reading book 5, only saw the first movie). The Sentinel (never saw the canon). Due South (watched the whole series, but never had the urge to write). Babylon 5 (the odd ep). Stargate SG-1 (again, the odd ep). Smallville (ditto).
I've been active in in the past: Transformers (G1), Dragonriders of Pern (not online for copyright issues in conjunction with the since abandoned tv mini-series), LotR (briefly), DCU (briefly), First Knight (never actually saw the canon, and also briefly), MacGyver, Knight Rider, X-Men.
Currently I'm active in: SGA, Supernatural, Transformers (2007), Criminal Minds.
Even when I was voraciously reading everything I could get my grubby little hands on - I remember when the m-a archive was hovering at 200 pieces of work, total, and being able to say that I'd read every piece in there barring poetry when it was more than ten times that - I wasn't really aware of Fandom as, well, FANDOM. Or even fandom. It was just this...thing.
Criminal Minds introduced me to the larger aspects of Fandom - comms, writing challenges, flists, etc. It also...grabbed me by the metaphorical balls and said "You will watch every. single. episode." with the kind of intensity that I hadn't realized anyone ever had over any fandom, like, anywhere/when. (This, I'm sad to say, is after I'd attended: two Dragon*Cons, three Bot*Cons, one Comic*Con, one Archon, one Rivercon, and a number of smaller club/company 'cons.)
Then I got into SPN, and SGA.
And while my writing for all those fandoms I don't participate in anymore was sporadic, unfinished, and largely unposted?
Writing, creating, being part of something bigger than me and my brain and my laptop gave it meaning that it hadn't had before. Suddenly I'm not just circulating these bits and pieces of stuff between me and the three or four friends I met over the web. I'm writing a thousand words dealing with an issue with an episode of SPN, or SGA, or Criminal Minds that bugs the hell out of me, and I'm using it as a vehicle for a dialogue.
I'm having discussion through reaction-fic. ETA: This isn't a request for feedback, just an example of what I do when I write. Not that I'll turn feedback down!
I'm debating the dubious morality of various aspects and characters in SGA by having one quasi-villain (Todd) confront and deal with another (Lucius Lavin) in a way that the lead (John Sheppard) probably agrees with/wants to, but can't advocate/do himself. Because he's the good guy. Supposedly.
Yes, I'd like to know if the reader thinks I could have made things better, in whatever way (at least, that applies - I'm not throwing McShep in because, well, it doesn't fit that story, just for a for instance).
I also want to know if you agree/disagree with the premise, or like/dislike it, or just want to say "good job!" Or if there are other, more...appropriate (read: painful?) ways I could have dealt with Lucius Lavin.
I'm exploring the psychological affects of...well, everything. I can't not, especially in a show like Criminal Minds, that does it insanely well already. But what if...this happens? How would that affect...
I'm not only exploring the shows, and the ramifications of whatever actions characters take, or events occur in those shows, but I'm exploring my own limits as a writer. Those of you who've been reading my fiction, particularly in the last few months, know this - I've written stuff in different styles, points of view, tense, etc. I've noticed they shift naturally from one fandom to another (most notably, LotR to...anything else), but this is the first time I've actually realized that I can do it on purpose.
And being experimental, particularly on the fringes, is easy. Side characters are more plastic. They stretch and bend, and while the readers may not be as numerous as for an, or THE OTP of the fandom, they appear to be more willing to go right along with me and try and see a situation from my perspective as an author. I don't think I'd have that same freedom if I were writing an OTP (or, in Supernatural fandom, paying any attention whatsoever to the fandom at large).
This is part of being on the fringes. A lot of the whole OTP debate puts primarily OTP'ed fandoms in two camps: OTP, and everyone else. Some have a split OTP: Slash pairing, het pairing, and everyone else.
There are only two fandoms I've been part of either a major pairing, or 'the' OTP: LotR (Aragorn/Legolas) and SPN (Sam/Dean). Even in those instances, I had some major aspect(s) of my 'main' work that differed from the majority. (I'm discounting First Knight because A) I didn't see any of the original canon and B) I wrote one...double-drabblish piece I forget I did half the time.)
I think part of this, aside from the experimentalism (which is another essay I'm working on), is because I don't want to write what I've already read. I don't need to rehash what fifty other stories have already gone over. I want to write what's not already there. Fill the holes. This also explains to at least some degree why I never felt the need to contribute to the huge fandoms I sort of glided through - everything I could have said? Someone else did, or at least should have.
Fandom is, in my opinion, largely a consumer participation community. And I think, despite lj's shortcomings, I've instinctively tried to cater to that. In writing what I write, and being open to concrit and comments and polite disagreement, I'm inviting my readers to discuss, or, particularly in the case of my Criminal Minds series Of Innocence & Empathy, or my Supernatural Salt!verse, or even the SGA fic Where We Live, participate in the creation process.
Which is really the point of Fandom, isn't it?
Before I get into the nitty-gritty, let me point out that I'm going to be using Fandom, capitalized, to denote the entirety of all fandoms (By your powers combined...), while fandom(s), not capitalized, denotes universe-specific corners of Fandom (i.e. HP, Star Wars, etc.).
Okay, fine. I've been reading a lot of back metafandom posts. A LOT.
I mean, right now, I'm working my way through the links from October 28, 2005. Yes, 2005. THAT 2005. Yes, that means I've read every post that's looked A) interesting, B) pertinent to any of my corners of Fandom, C) humorous, and/or D) remains available (since several meta-heavy LJs have been deleted, and even more have been flocked).
I have three folders full of meta posts to organize in a links list for myself on my LJ, just so I don't have to go looking for them again. (The essay on why SGA ate Fandom was a bitch to find again, it really was. And the graph isn't there anymore.::sniff::)
My current final frontier SGA rarepairing fic is due to this back-post trawling. (There are a few of you who know what it is, and who's in it, etc. Please don't spoil!)
And yes, even though I'm rather new to the whole metafandom schtick, the cyclicality of topics has been hammered home over. and over. and over. again. Canon vs. Fanon. Warnings. Concrit. Beta reading. Half a dozen how-to guides on the same punctuation/grammar issues. Wank. DIY fandom happy places. Plagiarism. Feminism. Male privilege. MPreg. Genderfuckedness. Fandom-specific terminology, both on the fandom level and the Fandom. Portrayal of disabilities. Race and racism. How to write sex scenes. Ficing fic. Credit vs. permission. Mary Sues. Characterization. Rape/non-con/dub-con/consent/whatever. Etc. Ad nauseam.
So now I have all this...stuff...floating around in my head. About Fandom, and fandoms. And I'm thinking about this, and yet another cyclical topic - Why I slash/am in fandom/write/whatever - and I realize...
I seem to be on the fringes of Fandom.
Whatever fandom I happen to play in, I'm...not mainstream.
That's...odd. Since Fandom by definition isn't mainstream, despite its creeping into it on occasion. But that's another topic. (And one that should be in that huge list up there.)
But it's true. I'm not a mainstream member of this wild and crazy place we collectively call Fandom. (Which is another thing that comes up - just what/where/how/why is Fandom Fandom?)
Whatever issue gets presented...and I realize that someone's going to call me out for saying this because I just wrote a huge essay on one not two weeks ago...I'm...not really on either side. I see both sides, and any answer I can give becomes an 'it depends'. It depends on the situation, the fandom, and the characters. It depends on the person asking. It depends on what time I got to bed last night. It depends on whether the cat next door spent two minutes screaming to be let in, or fifteen. It just depends.
So, yeah, I read all these rants on various topics to which I can say, "Yeah, I see your point." But I can't really agree with them unconditionally, and I'm left to wonder "Is there a third option?"
This is my third option, on what I've read. Mind you, I don't really have a coherent opinion on a lot of this stuff, this is just what's occurred to me while plowing through the fiftieth post on the topic of...oh, July 8th, 2007, date chosen at random.
I'm here in Fandom for a lot of reasons. And before someone starts saying "But I don't--", please let me point out that this is all an 'in general'. Some people, not everyone.
- I like to share my squee. People already here get why I'm obsessed with character X, show Y, and pairing Z. Even if pairing Z not only isn't the OTP, but has two minutes of screen time together, or screen time in total.
- I like to hear about other people's squee, even if their squee is about fandoms, pairings, or characters I can't understand, can't get into, or actively dislike.
- It's not weird, crazy, or insane to have a top 5 list of favorite episodes of a show, and a top 10 list of favorite scenes, and have the two be mutually exclusive (that is, none of the favorite scenes are IN the favorite episodes).
- It's possible to find fandoms without wank.
- Some of the best friends I'll ever have I've made here, and chances are I'll never meet them face to face. But that's okay, because a ::hug:: from them in IMs is better than one from someone sitting next to me.
- It's a safe space, mentally and emotionally. Real Life (tm) is different, and it doesn't touch Fandom. (Kerfuffles and wank, likewise, are confined to in-Fandom, for the most part.)
- It is predominantly female space, but I've found that a fair portion of my male friends who aren't in fandom are respectful of my fannish activities. One of them is a regular beta-reader for me!
- Insanity can be the norm. ::waves to SGA and DCU. And Transformers.:: I don't suffer from insanity. Exactly.
- Fandom is an intensely creative and nurturing space.
- It is also a comfort to fall back on when Real Life (tm) becomes unbearable.
- If one corner of Fandom is...less than ideal, I can generally find another that fits me.
- Fandom has a lot of corners.
To hijack one of the points above, Fandom is an intensely creative and nurturing space.
Fandom has fanfic writers, meta writers, poets, vidders, bloggers, artists of many different media, community mods, fic/art/whatever festival mods, con organizers, etc. We self-teach. We teach others. We help out when help is asked for. Whether that's a new writer finding for a beta reader, or a writer's/author's/actor's family member being ill and having someone organize a fundraiser (or three), we are generous with our time, our energy, and our talent. Fandom gives back - collectively. Not saying there aren't leeches, but I've found they're few and far between. And they tend to lurk.
Which brings me to my personal contributions, I guess. And the reasons I make them. (And in large part, why I'm on the fringes and not in 'mainstream' Fandom.)
It shouldn't be a shock for me to say "I'm a fanfic author." That's really what this LJ is for: a place to post my stories, occasional random nattering, writing updates, and things that concern me (like the meta essay on dub-con tropes). Likewise, my little corners of fandom are going to be pretty obvious just by looking at what fandoms I write for.
But why I write? It seems the vast majority of posts, rants, polls, etc. I've read on the subject come down to something that more or less boils Fandom down to a pseudo-writer's workshop of some kind (I want to be a better writer, or go pro, or something), or some kind of compulsive activity (I write because I have to).
A lot of this comes down to concrit, what it means, whether or not it's solicited, whether concrit after posting a story is useful/meaningful/whatever, WIPs being posted while still being written, and/or the use of betas.
Does it really have to be about "teach me" vs. "I can't stop..."?
Granted, one of the big reasons I'm here writing fanfic is because I do want to improve. I do want people to tell me they think I got something wrong in my characterization of X, or from the angle depicted in Episode Y, Event Z couldn't have happened, or that I forgot a comma. I'm very open to it, and I think the comment threads on some of my posted stories reflect that. Or at least I hope so.
Unfortunately, I think part of the reason I'm so open to concrit, unsolicited or otherwise, is because of the corners of fandom I play in. If I were in 'mainstream' Fandom, my experience with it would probably be very different. I may well be going "I don't want concrit for any reason, thanks, have a nice day" stage by now.
A lot of the fandoms I've only read fic in, and not actively participated (writing, posting, commenting, etc.) in? Are huge. Star Wars (TPM, mostly). Star Trek (the odd ep). HP (dropped after reading book 5, only saw the first movie). The Sentinel (never saw the canon). Due South (watched the whole series, but never had the urge to write). Babylon 5 (the odd ep). Stargate SG-1 (again, the odd ep). Smallville (ditto).
I've been active in in the past: Transformers (G1), Dragonriders of Pern (not online for copyright issues in conjunction with the since abandoned tv mini-series), LotR (briefly), DCU (briefly), First Knight (never actually saw the canon, and also briefly), MacGyver, Knight Rider, X-Men.
Currently I'm active in: SGA, Supernatural, Transformers (2007), Criminal Minds.
Even when I was voraciously reading everything I could get my grubby little hands on - I remember when the m-a archive was hovering at 200 pieces of work, total, and being able to say that I'd read every piece in there barring poetry when it was more than ten times that - I wasn't really aware of Fandom as, well, FANDOM. Or even fandom. It was just this...thing.
Criminal Minds introduced me to the larger aspects of Fandom - comms, writing challenges, flists, etc. It also...grabbed me by the metaphorical balls and said "You will watch every. single. episode." with the kind of intensity that I hadn't realized anyone ever had over any fandom, like, anywhere/when. (This, I'm sad to say, is after I'd attended: two Dragon*Cons, three Bot*Cons, one Comic*Con, one Archon, one Rivercon, and a number of smaller club/company 'cons.)
Then I got into SPN, and SGA.
And while my writing for all those fandoms I don't participate in anymore was sporadic, unfinished, and largely unposted?
Writing, creating, being part of something bigger than me and my brain and my laptop gave it meaning that it hadn't had before. Suddenly I'm not just circulating these bits and pieces of stuff between me and the three or four friends I met over the web. I'm writing a thousand words dealing with an issue with an episode of SPN, or SGA, or Criminal Minds that bugs the hell out of me, and I'm using it as a vehicle for a dialogue.
I'm having discussion through reaction-fic. ETA: This isn't a request for feedback, just an example of what I do when I write. Not that I'll turn feedback down!
I'm debating the dubious morality of various aspects and characters in SGA by having one quasi-villain (Todd) confront and deal with another (Lucius Lavin) in a way that the lead (John Sheppard) probably agrees with/wants to, but can't advocate/do himself. Because he's the good guy. Supposedly.
Yes, I'd like to know if the reader thinks I could have made things better, in whatever way (at least, that applies - I'm not throwing McShep in because, well, it doesn't fit that story, just for a for instance).
I also want to know if you agree/disagree with the premise, or like/dislike it, or just want to say "good job!" Or if there are other, more...appropriate (read: painful?) ways I could have dealt with Lucius Lavin.
I'm exploring the psychological affects of...well, everything. I can't not, especially in a show like Criminal Minds, that does it insanely well already. But what if...this happens? How would that affect...
I'm not only exploring the shows, and the ramifications of whatever actions characters take, or events occur in those shows, but I'm exploring my own limits as a writer. Those of you who've been reading my fiction, particularly in the last few months, know this - I've written stuff in different styles, points of view, tense, etc. I've noticed they shift naturally from one fandom to another (most notably, LotR to...anything else), but this is the first time I've actually realized that I can do it on purpose.
And being experimental, particularly on the fringes, is easy. Side characters are more plastic. They stretch and bend, and while the readers may not be as numerous as for an, or THE OTP of the fandom, they appear to be more willing to go right along with me and try and see a situation from my perspective as an author. I don't think I'd have that same freedom if I were writing an OTP (or, in Supernatural fandom, paying any attention whatsoever to the fandom at large).
This is part of being on the fringes. A lot of the whole OTP debate puts primarily OTP'ed fandoms in two camps: OTP, and everyone else. Some have a split OTP: Slash pairing, het pairing, and everyone else.
There are only two fandoms I've been part of either a major pairing, or 'the' OTP: LotR (Aragorn/Legolas) and SPN (Sam/Dean). Even in those instances, I had some major aspect(s) of my 'main' work that differed from the majority. (I'm discounting First Knight because A) I didn't see any of the original canon and B) I wrote one...double-drabblish piece I forget I did half the time.)
I think part of this, aside from the experimentalism (which is another essay I'm working on), is because I don't want to write what I've already read. I don't need to rehash what fifty other stories have already gone over. I want to write what's not already there. Fill the holes. This also explains to at least some degree why I never felt the need to contribute to the huge fandoms I sort of glided through - everything I could have said? Someone else did, or at least should have.
Fandom is, in my opinion, largely a consumer participation community. And I think, despite lj's shortcomings, I've instinctively tried to cater to that. In writing what I write, and being open to concrit and comments and polite disagreement, I'm inviting my readers to discuss, or, particularly in the case of my Criminal Minds series Of Innocence & Empathy, or my Supernatural Salt!verse, or even the SGA fic Where We Live, participate in the creation process.
Which is really the point of Fandom, isn't it?
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On the two questions raised...
Date: 2008-07-04 01:32 pm (UTC)1) "I'd like to know if the reader thinks I could have made things better, in whatever way (at least, that applies - I'm not throwing McShep in because, well, it doesn't fit that story, just for a for instance)."
Um. Hard to think of what, although a fuller explanation of why Lucius was on the planet in the first place would have been welcome. And why Todd was heading there. But that's purely out of interest - it doesn't affect the story at all.
2) "I also want to know if you agree/disagree with the premise, or like/dislike it, or just want to say "good job!" Or if there are other, more...appropriate (read: painful?) ways I could have dealt with Lucius Lavin."
It is a good job. Nothing better than seeing that malevolent clown husked by Todd :)
Although in the interest of pure justice an appropriate end would have been at the hands of the people he'd wronged - not that they would be able to match being eaten alive of course.
no subject
Date: 2008-07-04 04:09 pm (UTC)1) "I'd like to know if the reader thinks I could have made things better, in whatever way (at least, that applies - I'm not throwing McShep in because, well, it doesn't fit that story, just for a for instance)."
I enjoyed the story exactly as it was written. I think you did a wonderful job creating a single event in time. It was short, sweet, and satisfied my Todd/Squee needs.
2) "I also want to know if you agree/disagree with the premise, or like/dislike it, or just want to say "good job!" Or if there are other, more...appropriate (read: painful?) ways I could have dealt with Lucius Lavin."
A small man should have a small death. There was no one there to watch him die, no one there to defend him and no one there to denounce him. Lucius merely ceased to exist and would eventually fade from the memories of the villagers.
I enjoyed the premise. Todd was still a Villain, and Shep still a Hero, but both were shaded by what was done to Lucius in the name of their friendship/alliance.
Re: On the two questions raised...
Date: 2008-07-04 04:40 pm (UTC)But yay!
1. I was actually planning on explaining why Lucius was on that planet, and why Todd went there, but in actually plotting it out, it would have turned into another epic, and I already have three in progress. I so don't need another one!
2. Malevolent clown! HAH! I love that description. Yeah, justice done by the people he harmed would have been...uh. just, but in this case it's probably a matter of A) convincing the people he'd wronged of the truth of what he actually did, and B) getting them to admit it. But this way, nobody has to.
(On a side note, I love that scene in Iron Man.)
Re: On the two questions raised...
Date: 2008-07-04 05:03 pm (UTC)Re: On the two questions raised...
Date: 2008-07-04 05:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-04 06:49 pm (UTC)1. So I'm not the only one who loves Todd-fic.::purrs:: I seem to have a thing for doing moment-event fic.::looks at fic list::
2. Wow. yes. I wasn't even thinking in these terms, but you're right on the money. Even more than that, Lucius was the 'town hero', and well...he got what he deserved, especially since he was posing.
It kind of reminded me of the old PSA eps in kids cartoons, you know, when the good guys and the bad guys team up against the drug runners, or whatnot.::laugh::