Fic: Trial by Fire (1/? Criminal Minds)

[thefrogg]

Title: Trial by Fire
Author: Frogg
Beta: Nilandia and Fireness
Rating: Gen
Comments/Warnings/Disclaimers: Everyone here belongs to someone else. Damnit. Not Emily-friendly.
Spoilers: Through Revelations, particularly the Big Game, Revelations, and Profiler, Profiled
Sequel to: Fractured Reflections, which is sequel to Personal Hell; runs concurrent to Stabilizing Influence.

Garcia eased into the room, glancing wide-eyed around the conference table, unable to ignore the palpable tension. It thickened a little as Hotch closed the door behind her, and yet more at the slide-click of the lock.

Gideon sat in his normal chair, deceptively relaxed, wearing only a ghost of his normal smile. It didn't meet his eyes.

JJ, tense and worried, eyes glassy, with her her arms wrapped around herself as if she were cold. Or alone.

Emily, as stone-faced as she ever was.

Morgan, hunched over the table with his chin tucked to his chest, fingers laced behind his neck. A fine tremor rippled through his body as she watched.

Hotch, all business as he took his seat and folded his hands on the table, but visibly concerned. His gaze lingered on Morgan's taut form.

And Reid --

"Where's--"

Hotch cut Emily off with a glance. "Before we start talking about Reid...Garcia?"

Garcia answered the unspoken question. "The cameras that should be seeing us, aren't. I hope you know I can get fired for that..."

Stifled, half-hearted laughter, but it broke the tension in the room and got Morgan to raise his head.

Hotch nodded. "As of a few minutes ago, this team is on standby. We won't be given any new cases until Gideon and I have cleared us for field work."

Garcia opened her mouth, but snapped it shut when she saw the relief and gratitude on Morgan's face, watched the shock and fear slowly fade from JJ's eyes. She couldn't blame them. Not when she could still see Reid in that cabin, when she still woke up screaming...

When she still saw Reid convulsing on the floor every time she shut her eyes.

"And you locked us in here to tell us this?" Confusion was the only thing that kept Emily from sounding callous.

Gideon smiled, his eyes lighting with gentle humor. "Not at all."

"No cameras, no records, this is extremely unofficial." Morgan paused, looked up at Hotch. "Unless I'm wrong?"

"No, you're not wrong. This is off the books, off the record, and uncensored. Nothing anyone says here will come up in evaluations, of any sort."

Gideon picked up when Hotch paused, leaning forward and resting his elbows on the table. "The truth is, this team hasn't been functioning as a team, not since Tobias Henkel. Maybe earlier, maybe as far back as the Fisher King."

"Reid's gone to talk with a friend. He's taking the rest of the day off, and may not be back for a few days. We can't help him deal with what happened if we refuse to deal with it ourselves," Hotch finished quietly, carefully not looking at JJ.

"Wait." Garcia sat up straight. "Reid's gone to talk to someone? Outside the team? Who?"

Morgan shrugged. "I don't know. He didn't say, and I didn't ask. Don't go looking, either."

"It may be important to Reid for us not to know," Gideon added.

"That's an order," Hotch said.

"Okay." Garcia slumped a little, disappointed, before regrouping. "Morgan? How'd you convince Reid to talk to someone?" Garcia paused uncertainly at the shiver that ran through Morgan's body at the question. "If you don't mind, I mean," she added in a small voice.

"I told him he needed to talk to someone, even if it wasn't one of us," Morgan said, tone soft, almost bland. "That whatever he's trying to keep secret would be a lot easier to deal with if he weren't."

"And apparently let him cry on your shoulder," Gideon added, paternal affection on his face.

"That, too." Morgan shrugged in self-deprecation.

"Let me get this straight," Emily started. She took a deep breath, concentrating for a moment as she drew all eyes. "You think that one off-the-record bull session's going to fix everything? Reid's not even here, and--"

"First of all," Gideon interrupted, "Reid isn't here because his personal issues take precedence, and we're too close to the situation. He'd also feel incredibly uncomfortable being here, since I suspect much of what we'll be discussing has to do with him. Second, this 'bull session', as you put it, isn't intended to fix everything. It's to help make us aware of what's going on, how we can help each other deal with the cases we've had, and, if necessary, to say things we need to get off our chest."

"It may not be the only session we have, either," JJ muttered.

Gideon nodded. "It may not."

"Okay, so." Garcia stopped, took a deep breath and a nervous glance at Gideon, then Hotch. "Rules?"

Hotch shrugged. "Remember we're a team, we're all friends, and we aren't here to hurt each other."

"Seems about right to me," Gideon said.

An uncomfortable silence descended on the conference room.

After a long moment, Emily laughed bitterly, shaking her head. "This is typical. Get everyone together to talk out our problems, and nobody has a thing to say."

"There's a difference between not having anything to say and being afraid to say anything. Or not wanting to hurt someone's feelings. Or not knowing how to say it." JJ's voice got softer, the words faster, the more she spoke.

"I don't think there's anyone here who's exactly comfortable talking freely. That doesn't mean we don't need to." Hotch sighed. "I almost wish I'd brought some beer."

Morgan snorted and shook his head. Garcia giggled, her nose wrinkling at the rare display of humor.

"Don't know about anyone else, but I could sure use a drink right about now." JJ shifted back in her chair, hugging herself tighter.

"Hey, if you want a beer, I'm all for grabbing some at the store," Morgan put in, a half-smile on his face.

Gideon shook his head, smiling. "That won't be necessary."

"Darn." Garcia snapped her fingers in disappointment.

Gideon paused for a moment, letting the humor fade. "Emily, since you seem dead set against this whole thing, is there something you'd like to share with the class?"

Emily went still, pinned by Gideon's sharp gaze. She swallowed convulsively. "Um. Well, I--"

"Spit it out, Emily." All eyes turned to Morgan, shocked and somehow unsurprised at the cynicism in his voice. "There's gotta be some reason you're dead set against spending an afternoon talking. You do it enough when we're working."

Unable to maintain eye contact with Morgan, she dropped her gaze to the table. "I...I don't know all the details about why Agent Greenaway left. You don't talk about her much. But I...I feel like I'm being blamed for her mistakes. Like I'm her replacement"

Hotch sighed and glanced over at Gideon.

Gideon nodded. "You are."

Emily jerked back in her chair, shocked and outraged.

"Before you go on the defensive, let me try and clear up some misconceptions," Hotch said quietly.

Everyone but Gideon and Emily found somewhere else to look. Emily stared at Hotch, ready to take insult; Gideon just watched.

"Agent Greenaway was a trusted friend and a valuable member of this team, up until the Fisher King. Mistakes were made during that case that nearly cost her her life, and did cost her the ability to trust us. We can't operate as a team if we can't trust each other."

"And you don't trust me," Emily said.

"How're we supposed to trust you?!" Morgan burst out. "You get assigned to this unit without going through any of the protocol required, months too soon for us to be ready for another agent..." He shook his head, shoving away from the table to stand and pace the length of the room.

"Morgan," Gideon started.

Morgan ignored him. "Your mother's an ambassador, isn't she?"

"Yes." Emily swallowed hard before adding, "She didn't get me this job."

"Bullshit. That's bullshit, and you know it. You really think an office agent, even one with ten years' experience, would get transfered to the BAU without Hotch and Gideon knowing? Do you?"

"I--I..."

"I'll believe you didn't ask for interference," Morgan continued, his voice lower, calmer as he leaned over the table. "I'll even believe you didn't know that strings were pulled on your behalf. Hell, I'd even believe that maybe, just maybe, someone looked at your file, said, 'Oh shit, her mom's an ambassador, I better keep her happy,' and rubber stamped your transfer. But the moment you showed up and Hotch had no clue why you were here, you should have known you didn't get this job on your own."

Unable to hold her temper, Emily rose half out of her seat. "I worked my ass off to get here. Even if my parents did have something to do with it, I earned the right to be here."

"Nobody has the right to be here," Morgan all but snarled.

"Morgan," Hotch tried, frowning.

"Nobody has the right to be here," Morgan repeated. "This isn't just a job. We are't just co-workers. This isn't something you just decide to do, or something you just walk away from. It's a privilege to be here, one you work your ass off to get, and work even harder to keep."

"I do. I have." Emily met Morgan's glare with one of her own.

"You've been taking your position here for granted since the day you walked in that door," Morgan shot back, his muscular arm stretching out to point to the door to Hotch's office. "The same with the trust we have to grant you to do our jobs out there. That's not free. Your experience, your expertise, yeah, you have what it takes to be here. But it takes a lot more than that to make it on this team, and what you've been offering us ain't worth putting up with your attitude."

"We understand," Hotch put in before Emily could respond, "that there is a lot of anger and resentment, on all sides. Unfortunately, we can't do anything about how you joined the team, or the fact that we didn't have the time necessary to come to terms with Agent Greenaway's departure. The only thing we can do now is be aware that resentment exists and try and moderate our behavior accordingly."

"Please, sit down. We aren't here to fight," Gideon said.

Morgan gave Emily one last angry look before settling back in his chair with a sigh.

"Emily?"

Comments

[empathy-apathy.livejournal.com]

Ooh. Intense. *shiver*

You've definitely got everyone spot-on. It would have been interesting to see Reid's reaction while all of this was going on... excellent work, and as always, I'm looking forward to more.

[thefrogg.livejournal.com]

It's kind of odd that they start with the intention of talking about Reid and end up talking about Emily.::stare::

Thank you! I think Reid would have been mortified and embarrassed, to be honest, and a little resentful. We'll see what happens.

[skyeseeker.livejournal.com]

Great story so far, I'm really looking forward to what else comes out at that meeting.

[thefrogg.livejournal.com]

Well, I can tell you this much - Morgan's not done with Emily.

Not by a long shot.

[olivia-cochrane.livejournal.com]

Nice beginning; I like the idea of clearing the air between all of these people constantly circling each other. Also nice to have a CM story focused on something real, something that the team might actually go through, as opposed to all the miles and miles of gratuitous slash I usually have to wade through.

[thefrogg.livejournal.com]

Thanks - sometimes it seems like the show misses what should be significant pieces of the puzzle, particularly when it comes to Emily and how she joined the team.

Gratuitous?! If the writers would just put in one little scene and admit that Morgan and Reid are lovers, and Morgan's womanizing and Reid's adorkable!virgin acts are just for cover, we wouldn't have to write so much of it.::flees::

No, really. Sometimes there just isn't enough canon-related fic out there, and it really is a relief. Particularly in a relatively young fandom like CM.

[olivia-cochrane.livejournal.com]

Yeah, you better run :D Any pairings of BAU team members are like incest to me; Morgan and Reid are like Big Brother and Little Brother. Hotch and Gideon are the Mommy and Daddy :D (Hence, Hotch/Reid and Gideon/Reid YEECCCHH.)

I think we're on the road to getting much more of Emily Prentiss. I think it's very clear that in spite of Emily's hard work and cute moments with people, they still don't really trust her; they were burned badly by Elle (no one except Hotch has even mentioned her name since she left), she slid in under the protocols and they're a bunch of naturally suspicious people. That's why this whole "bring Hotch down or lose your own job" thing works as a plot device; if it happened to any of the others, we'd say, yeah, right, dream on. But Emily still feels like an outsider, and she is, in a lot of ways. When Hotch says to the evil director woman that Emily "needn't worry" about her place within the team, I don't think he's all that sure. He'd like to think that, but the doubts are still there; Thomas Gibson does a great job of delivering that line in a rush, as though Hotch needed to have it said but didn't want to dwell on it.

[thefrogg.livejournal.com]

I don't really see canon relationships as static, which I guess is a double-edged sword. Yes, they do have overtones of sibling and/or parental roles, but they're fluid and change at the drop of a hat, so it's possible to take them in other directions.

I have to admit that Emily is growing on me, particularly after the Honor of Thieves. I think you're exactly right about her and the team, and why the ploy works (in the show - I have other plans in the OI&E universe, though you're probably following that one).

[olivia-cochrane.livejournal.com]

Point taken. I just think there are some things that haven't changed in two years and have no reason to change now. Reid was definitely changed by the abduction, but I don't think it's changed the way Gideon and Hotch would like to treat him; the only difference is he doesn't let them anymore. He was so eager to learn from them, and now that he's felt the evil on a personal level he doesn't feel that same eagerness anymore. Also, I think on some level he feels angry at them that they let that happen to him. Not that it's their fault... just an irrational anger.

My point is just that it's important to stay within the realm of this kind of stuff -- what the writers and the actors give us -- when interpreting the characters and their motivations. Changing who they are makes them... not them anymore. When we write them, we feel like we own them to some degree, but we don't; the people who created them get to say who they are and what they'd do in any given situation. We just get to set the circumstances and play them out. That's my view of fanfic, anyway. And it really does have its limitations. But that's what makes it good fic: how you find ways to make interesting and imaginative things happen within those set limits.

[thefrogg.livejournal.com]

What you also have to take into account is that while the writers and actors are trying to portray one thing, the viewer brings a great deal to what they actually perceive. So the relationships you may see as parental or big brother/little brother, other people see as potentially sexual. That's why we ultimately end up writing - we read stuff into it that the writers and actors never intended, but are there in subtext.

The realm of the possible is what I try and keep in mind. That may not be appropriate for televised episodes, but it's what I, personally, as a fan and a writer, am interested in. I'm glad you like this particular piece; unfortunately, the series will involve some 'gratuitous slash' as you put it later on down the line.

[empathy-apathy.livejournal.com]

*quiet cheers for gratuitous slash in the background of the conversation*

[olivia-cochrane.livejournal.com]

Some people see what they want to see, though ;D

the series will involve some 'gratuitous slash' as you put it

Fair enough; thanks for the warning.

Please don't be mad! I only meant to say it isn't my cup of tea. You write very well, and I won't run for the hills the moment I see a slashy moment :) I can deal with CM slash ok if there's another reason to read the story (that is, if there's more to it than the romance/angst), and if it's well-written, and both are true of this one. Morgan and Reid having sex... well... I might have to abandon ship :)

[jalabert.livejournal.com]

I read this last night and had to think about it a bit before commenting. I'm still not sure what to say about it. I don't dislike it--don't get me wrong--I'm just not sure what to make of this yet. I need to see more pieces of the puzzle.

Color me intrigued and curious.

[thefrogg.livejournal.com]

Yeah, well, color me curious too. I'm not sure when (if) I'll get back to this storyline; OI&E has me tied up pretty well.::chuckle::

I had tons of stuff planned, I just don't know if I'll have the chance to get back to it!

[thefrogg.livejournal.com]

::waits to hear about the two chapters of OI&E she posted today::

[ivy-b.livejournal.com]

I hope you do continue this, it's really interesting. I think the team could use a little group therapy session, it would be interesting to see what they air out.

[(Anonymous)]

hey,

are you going to continue posting??? I just got recced to read this and it is great so far!

[thefrogg.livejournal.com]

Honestly, I don't know if I'll continue with this universe. This was...I don't know how to explain other than I loathed Emily for the first several episodes she was in (there are hints of it in OI&E, but she gets better.). The story was more or less a vehicle for me to bash Emily, and once the series got to the point where I actually liked her, it became rather difficult to continue with.

I'm not giving up on it, but I wouldn't hold my breath for more.:(

[derangedfangirl.livejournal.com]

Continue!!!! Please? *begs*

I quite like Prentiss, though I realize I'm not precisely in the majority, and I love the way you've depicted the team's dynamic in this series. You cannot just leave it here, mate!

[thefrogg.livejournal.com]

I like Prentiss a lot. Unfortunately, I hated her when I wrote this.::laugh:: It's very hard for me to get my brain back to the frame of mind I was in then, so I don't know if I'll be able to continue with this story line.::sigh::

Thank you though.

[derangedfangirl.livejournal.com]

*nods*

Perhaps it's because I never watched the 2nd season when it first aired, and so I could watch it all in one sitting, I never developed the hatred the fandom had for her in the beginning. *shrugs* It also helped that I never really liked Elle as much.

[lagolindari.livejournal.com]

I really wish there was a sequel to this series :).